Confession time, I am OBSESSED with birth stories. They've got everything, high drama, pure joy, toilet humour... a birth story is the ultimate love at first sight fairy tale. And maybe it's just me but I cannot get enough of the juicy detail. A 72 hour labour you say? I want a minute by minute account. I'll bring snacks and a sleeping bag.
Just don't ask me for my birth story. Because here's the real confession, I am ashamed by it. And I know that I am not alone. I meet so many mums who feel a deep sense of shame and guilt because their labour and birthing experience wasn't what they had hoped and planned for. And yes I'm proud of the work I do to help them process the emotions, but what a difference it would make across the whole natural parenting community if we could have these conversations more openly.
So I'm standing up today to say "Hi, I'm Shonie, I have given birth to three adorable boys but never been in labour". I have never even experienced a contraction... and I am insanely jealous of all the women who have (and yes, I do appreciate how ridiculous that sounds). For legitimate medical reasons - even now I feel like I need to justify the why to avoid judgement - I have had 3 c-sections. They were calm, and beautiful and they all ended with a rush of maternal love. On a logical level I know how very lucky I am, because the happy ending is all that matters, but I also accept that it's natural and normal to feel disappointed that I didn't get the labour and births that I expected. I'm stepping away from the shame, once and for all, and I hope that you can too.
So let me tell you about the birth of my son, about making the theatre staff giggle when I announced to my husband he looked just like George Clooney in his scrubs, or insisting that they turned up the radio so I could sing along to Living on a Prayer, or how I heard my son crying before I ever saw him and how in that moment it was the most beautiful sound in the world...
I'd love for you to be able to share your birth stories, without shame or judgement. So if you are struggling with these feelings and need some support, you can email me on shonie@theseartfulhours.com.
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